Finding perfection in imperfection

Growing up, we had a golden retriever named Ginger. Ginger was really my sister's dog. I thought she drooled too much and smelled weird. My sister loved her unconditionally. In her later years, Ginger developed cataracts and could not navigate the house very well. She also developed an unfortunate cluster of growths on her nether region (which we lovingly referred to as her butt warts). The grosser and smellier Ginger got, the more my sister loved her. Back then, I just didn't get it.

For many years, I searched for perfection in my life. I wanted a perfectly neat and tidy home, clean and well behaved children (we all know how that one turned out), I wanted every day to be a good hair day. Every time something did not turn out the way I wanted it to, I felt a keen sense of disappointment.

I believe that my journey over the past year or so has taught me to see that in essence, perfection is a myth. When you look at your old, blind, stinky dog with pure depth of emotion, that dog - to you - embodies perfection. I look at my life as if with different eyes these days. Messy house, kid sleeping in the living room, cat pee on the backpack, weeks between home-cooked meals....yet I can say honestly, I have never been happier. My kids desperately need haircuts and sometimes they forget to brush their teeth (and I forget to remind them!), but they are happy and healthy. My toe nails could really use some TLC, my car is making a really loud noise, but I am happy and healthy. Wish I could have learned this lesson from my sister when I was 14. Better late than never, right?

My Year of Poverty

You know what sucks about being poor? You can't buy the stuff you want. That having been said, poverty has it's benefits. I've done quite a bit of soul searching lately and always try (but sometimes fail) to put a positive spin on things. I think I've learned more this past year than I did the first 40 years of life combined. One lesson stands out above all the others: Stuff is just Stuff. Why was that one so hard to learn? Why was it so hard to let go of THINGS? Ever notice that your fear of the unknown can paralyze you? I lived in that fear for so long that I lost sight of the truly important things. Once I let go and took a leap of faith, I found the beauty of the every day that had been lost to me for so long. Yesterday, I nearly cried tears of joy when I cut open a cantaloupe and found it to be utterly perfect. A 2.00 cantaloupe. A good cycle class followed by a coffee with a friend bring me more joy than a new Kate Spade bag. Learning to find happiness in simplicity is an easy task for some, but for me it was tricky. I've always been a late bloomer.....but so glad I'm now getting the change to experience it. Don't get me wrong, some days I still wish I had a new car or a giant blingy diamond.....but I always try to remind myself of all the wonderful "things" I do have and am usually able to forget the other stuff. I never again want to live through what I have lived through over this past year, but at the same time, I would not trade it for the world :)